Well, I did it! I did something yesterday that freed me.
What is it? I called my dad and wished him a “Happy Anniversary”. This may seem
ordinary to you, but to me, it was a very BIG deal. You see, my parents were
married for almost 45 years before my mom passed away suddenly on August 2,
2007. My dad remarried exactly 4
months to the date - December 2, 2007 - at the very same altar where my mom’s casket had once sat…IKR! :-)
This was a lot for my sisters and I to digest, as all of our lives all we had
known was mom and dad…together. We were told by others that we all wore the
same clothes to my dad’s wedding that day, we had worn to my mother’s funeral…we
hadn’t planned this, I promise…SERIOUSLY, LOL! :-) I guess we
did it subconsciously. Anyway, it took
me five years to come to the realization that,
I may not have agreed with my dad’s decision, but guess what? It was HIS choice and to be honest, I had NO right to judge him for the decision he made!
I may not have agreed with my dad’s decision, but guess what? It was HIS choice and to be honest, I had NO right to judge him for the decision he made!
We must make sure we’re
not holding people hostage because we’re not in agreement with what they choose
to do.
Not only do we hold them hostage, but we hold ourselves
hostage as well. How you ask? By stressing, worrying, getting angry and worked
up over something that quite frankly, doesn’t even concern us. Do yourself a
BIG favor…free yourself by freeing others. Stop tormenting yourself, dwelling
on and losing sleep over decisions others make concerning their lives! Believe
me, it’s so not worth it! Remember, it’s their lives…let them live. Yes,
sometimes the decisions our loved ones make are not always correct and as hard
as it may be, and as much as we may want to interfere…we have NO right to. And
guess what, we really don’t even have a right to be angry with them
either. The only right we have is to love them and pray for them.
When we love
someone, of course it’s natural to not want to see them make decisions we think
are not the right ones, but we must love them enough to allow them to make those decisions –whether good or bad- without
being judged by us. Sure, you’ll have some situations where you may have to
intervene; but for the most part, those are few and far between. We must admit,
many times we disagree because it’s something we wouldn’t have chosen. This may
be hard for some of you to swallow, but quite frankly, that would be considered
pride and selfishness…something I had to come to the realization I was
walking in. Until I came to that point, I could never admit I was wrong. Don't get me wrong, my dad and I have a great relationship and I love him very much. I just didn't like his decision, but had to accept it and clean my heart so that it wouldn't hinder me. You can agree to disagree, but NEVER let your disagreement get in the way of your love walk!
I’ve shared a very private part of my life, in hopes that it will
free someone today. I can tell you, I’m more liberated now than I’ve ever been
before. If you’re willing to give up
your hurt, pain and disappointment over choices others have made concerning
their lives…do it now by letting it go,
forgiving them and forgiving yourself. Remember, God gives us a right to choose every
single day of our lives. What right do we really have to prevent someone else
from doing the same? John 4:12, Romans 14:12
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam
I truly commend you... Thank you for sharing... Acting on this today in my own life....
ReplyDeleteThanks Shenika! That's awesome...so glad I was able to encourage you to do the same! Thanks for dropping by! Love ya!
DeleteWhat an AWESOME and genuinely inspiring post Michell!! This would ring true in many people's lives!!! SO glad you have let go and are now free of that prison of resentment! We all need to follow in your faithful footsteps!!
ReplyDeleteAwww...thanks Chris! It has been a journey I've been on for the past year now and thought the final step would be to finally wish him a "Happy Anniversary". I could tell it was a surprise to him and it made his day, which in turn made mine! Thanks for dropping by! :-)
DeleteThank you for sharing! My husband's first wife went to be with the Lord before we met. Some wonderful people at our church told him that when you are happily married, you are more likely to want to be married again. That was so freeing to him.
ReplyDeleteWe met 4 months after his wife went to be with the Lord and were married a 7 months after meeting. We are so thankful to the Lord for putting us together. Even though he loves me so, he still misses his first wife at times. We talk about her often as a family so our children can remember their 1st mom. Blessings to you!
That's true! We(my sisters and I and our families) were able to go on with our lives and he was left alone. Back then we hadn't really thought about that because we were so fixed on losing our mom. She was in Heaven enjoying Jesus and our dad was in an empty house alone. It was a decision he had to make for himself and I can finally say that I'm fine with that! Thanks for stopping by! :-)
DeleteThank you for sharing your story so honestly.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much and thanks for dropping by! Have a blessed week!:-)
ReplyDeleteWonderful post Michell and thank you for opening so personally.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother passed away, my stepfather changed so much into a person that I was no longer familiar with. His decisions have angered me, confused me and has made me resent him. I know I just need to let go. It is not my place to judge him... perhaps I should change my energy of being upset with him into prayer.
Thank you for this post... I needed that reminder.
God Bless and have a wonderful week!
Thanks so much Nichole! I'm blessed by the fact that my story somehow is able to help you. When I decided to let God have it, that was the moment I became free. I agree, turning that energy into prayer will definitely lead you on the road to healing...it did for me! ;-) Thanks so much for stopping by and may you have a blessed week as well! :-)
Deleteoh that is such a tough one. hugs to you at this point in your life, and kudos for getting yourself to a better place.
ReplyDeleteAloha,
Stopping by to say "hi" and to follow you too from Mom's Mingle. I'd love it if you'd join me for the ride at Local Sugar Hawaii . We're having a ton of fun there, together, and I think you just might like it. You're always welcome, anytime.
xo,
Nicole
localsugarhawaii.com
Oh yes, a much better place! :-) Our relationship now is better than it's ever been! Sounds like fun! I'll be sure to head over your way! Thanks so much for dropping by and have a blessed week! :-)
Delete"Free yourself by freeing others". Wow. So. Very. True. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I need to practice this, especially with one person in my life. I need to--for both of us. I'm so glad you have made me really think about this! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I thank God for the community of women I've met while blogging. We all help each other in some way or another. Thanks for dropping by! Have a blessed week! ;-)
DeleteInteresting post Mitchell. I stumbled on this blog from a friend's, and I am truly inspired by the posts here. Thanks for sharing this. I can identify with some aspects of what you said because I have watched a loved one-my brother-suffer, over a decision he made concerning marriage and when things went awry we saw how he struggled and mourned, and sorrowed over his wife's decision to leave, despite the fact that she did something wrong and he kept on begging her to return. Predictably, my whole family got dragged in, and everyone was so hurt for him. It's been a struggle letting go of hurts and offenses, but thank God for His grace. It's so much freeing to let go and let God, and my prayer is that we get to that point, not just individually, but as a family as well. Thank you. I am a follower already, lol.
ReplyDeleteThanks Unyime! Yes, thank God for His grace! It was so foreign to me, because as a family we had never experienced anything like that and when it happened, it blew me out of the water and we didn't know how to handle. But of course God, with all His infinite wisdom, lol, asked me if I was going to be a hypocrite? Ha, He's funny like that you know. ;-)So I had to handle it like I handled everything else in my life...DO WHAT THE WORD SAYS...works every time! It only works if we do it though! Thanks so much for stopping by and following, headed over to your blog now!
DeleteWonderful words here Michell, words that could benefit many! Unforgiveness is like a cancer that eats slowly away at us! If we dwell on hurtful situations and resentment we allow negative feelings to crowd out positive ones and we might find ourselves swallowed up by our own bitterness.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and love; have an awesome week!
Denise
So true Denise! Definitely not worth losing your joy over! Swallowing your pride and resentment is a great exchange for having your freedom! Wouldn't change it for anything! Thanks for dropping by! :-)
DeleteSuch an inspiring post Michell! I agree that we sometimes hold ourselves hostage and that can be very suffocating. I've also learned to be free and just to be me. Thanks for sharing a part of yourself :)
ReplyDeleteYes Anne! Being free is soooo much better, lol! :-) Thanks for stopping by! Have a blessed week!;-)
ReplyDeleteWOW! This post was amazing! Thank you so much for writing this. I'm sharing this one with my readers.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your encouraging words and thanks for sharing it! Thanks for stopping by and following, headed over to your blog now! Have a blessed week! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it must have been Michell, but you did the right thing and now you have the right result, your liberty. Thanks for taking us this deep, have a super blessed day!
ReplyDeleteLove
Oh yes Ugochi! A lesson I hope everyone will learn...giving up our flesh in order to get the bigger prize! Thanks so much for stopping by my friend! Have a blessed week! ;-)
DeleteI learned this the hard way. You are so right--it's freeing to give up our hurt feelings and painful thoughts. Truly a needful post. I'm praying it will touch others to pursue freedom.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pamela for your encouraging words. My hope is that it touches others also. Our freedom is so important, as it liberates us to pursue Christ even more. Thanks for stopping by, have a blessed day! ;-)
DeleteYour honesty and sharing such a personnal part of your lif has touched my heart. Thank you for sharing and encouraging me to be able to "let go" and "let God"!!!
ReplyDeleteLove to you my friend!!
Stacey
Hey there lady! So glad you stopped by...hope you're feeling better my friend! :-) Awww, thanks Stacey, I had to, in order to get to the next level. It feels so good! ;-) Love to you as well, have a blessed week! ;-)
DeleteUnforgiveness kills and I am so glad you were able to free yourself Michell. God bless you today and give you a very beautiful day !
ReplyDeleteLol,oh yes Gertrude! We can sometimes think we have forgiven someone, but really haven't. That's why we must ALWAYS heed the voice of the Holy Spirit, because He will ALWAYS tell us the truth...it's up to us to listen! :-) Thanks so much for dropping by! Have a blessed week!
ReplyDeleteWe have to forgive because if we don't forgive we hinder our blessings. Can't be holding grudges or mad because that person may not even realize you feel that way and going on about their business.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a powerful story. It's such a wonderful feeling to be free.
Yes it is wonderful to be free! ;-) Thanks so much for stopping by and following J.T.! Have a blessed evening! :-)
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is so important or bitterness will just eat you up. It seems to be particularly difficult when family is involved. It seems to be easiest to hold grudges against those we love the most.
ReplyDeleteHi Colleen! Yes, bitterness and unforgiveness will eat away at your very core, if you let them sit and fester. Thanks for visiting! Have a blessed evening!;-)
DeleteVery powerful. Thanks for being transparent!!
ReplyDeleteHi Anitra! Thanks for your encouraging words and thanks for stopping by! Have a blessed evening!
Deletea great step forward for your heart and soul. Forgiveness is difficult. I send you hugs. Thank you for sharing at the Thursday Favorite Things hop xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Katherine! Yes it was a great step! Thanks for stopping by and looking forward to Thursday! Have a wonderful day. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy nomination for the best blog of 2012 goes to FREE YOURSELF!!!
ReplyDeleteHahaha...THANK YOU songbird! ;-) Thanks for stopping by! Have a blessed New Year!
ReplyDeleteWow, that would be such a hard thing to swallow!! I don't blame you for being upset. But I have to commend you for coming to this realization and handling it with such grace. This post was really an encouragement and a blessing! Thank you for opening up and sharing!
ReplyDeleteP>S> And of course...happy SITS day!!! <3
Thank you so much Martha!! It was all the Lord's doing! If it hadn't been for His grace...more than likely I wouldn't have been able to do it. He literally changed my heart! Thanks so much for dropping by...have a blessed weekend! ;-)
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