"Michell's Weekly Pearl"...(Ruining My Reputation)

Hi everyone! I've been on a hiatus for two weeks(you can read all about it in my previous post). :) I'm so glad to be back and I thank you for joining me for another edition of  "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about my advice series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via prowessandpearls@gmail.com (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE). 

Keep sending those questions in ladies!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "Ruining my Reputation" asked...

Michele, I’m a Christian and so is my best friend. She doesn’t care about her reputation and it’s starting to affect me. Because I’m with her all the time, people assume that I have the same lifestyle. My question is this, should I break my friendship with her or continue to be her friend and hope she’ll change?

Hi and thanks for your question! The question becomes, how strong is your walk with Christ? I ask, because some people are able to have friends from all walks of life, because they influence them, not the other way around. You see as a believer, we are to be the example, not the other way around. When people are in our presence, they should want to be more Christ-like, not the other way around. I’m not saying you should be holier than thou, because you’ll NEVER win anyone to Christ that way, BUT and I do emphasize but…you should never let anyone(I don’t care WHO they are), make you compromise your relationship with Him! We’ve turned into a society where everyone feels as if everyone else should be beholden to them. In other other words, they feel as if you should be bound to or obligated to them! The ONLY person we should behold is Christ! You should sit down with your friend and be HONEST with her. Let her know that you can no longer “hang” with her until she cleans up her act! Now what she does outside of that is totally HER business, but she can’t do it when she’s around you.  The Bible tells us to not let our good works be spoken evil of. I’m sorry, but from what you’re telling me, it looks like your good works are being spoken evil of my friend. I know sometimes it can be hard to disconnect from people. That’s why it’s so important as believers not to have soulish relationships with people. We are to know one another(this includes our friends, ESPECIALLY our friends) after the Spirit, not the flesh! When we have soulish relationships with people, we’ll always encounter these situations. We’ll always feel as if we must be loyal to everyone, even if they’re presenting us foolishness! We.must.get.away.from.this.ladies!! As women in general, especially Christian women, we must learn to draw the line. I, like the next person, like to have fun and have a good time. Contrary to popular belief, serving Christ is a joyous thing! If not, then one needs to do an evaluation…quick-like. But, I see so many so-called believers who get it twisted and think it’s a free ticket to be silly and foolish. We then start taking God’s grace for granted. *Don’t let me get started…I’ll save that one for another blog post* But, at some point this becomes old…very old. When this happens, you can’t win anyone to Christ, because you’ve become a joke and no one is going to take you serious. I didn’t mean to go on a spill, but this is something I’m very passionate about…women who don’t care how their actions affect others! I mean really, if you want to do that…go self-destruct on your own, don’t drag me in it! More than anything, I suggest that you pray for your friend. Pray that God opens her eyes. Pray that whatever makes her want to act this way, is resolved…whether it’s the need for attention, the fact that she’s lonely or feeling unloved. Whatever it is, pray that her heart is healed. I also pray for you, that you’ll be strong enough to make the necessary changes. Believe me, your friend will look back on this situation and thank you for challenging her(because that's what real friends do) ;). Hope this helps…have a wonderful weekend! 

I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law.  My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well!  As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.  

*Disclaimer*: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share.  With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.

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