Are you looking the other way?

enabling others



While at a hotel recently, my husband and I encountered a group of teenagers who were disrespectful and rude. It saddens me that we see this behavior more often than not. I remember when I was growing up this was frowned upon by others, now it’s looked upon as the “cool” thing to do. There was a time when parents would get embarrassed and do something about it, nowadays
its accepted because their behavior is one that is learned…unfortunately from the very one who is teaching them. This incident prompted me to go back to one of my first blog post, pull it off the shelf and dust it off! Here goes…


Every now and then I’ll get on my “soapbox”…today just happens to be one of those days! ;-) We live in a society full of “enablers”…you know, people who approve,  facilitate,  make excuses for, authorize and give the “okay” to other people’s actions; regardless of whether those actions are good or bad.  You see this lapse in judgment everywhere you go…parents with their children, friends with their friends, spouses with each other…the list goes on and on. My husband and I have always told our kids, “we will always love you, but right is right and wrong is WRONG”; it’s called INTEGRITY folks! Integrity is the adherence to moral and ethical principles, soundness of moral character, a sound, unimpaired condition; simply put…honesty!  As a parent, I WILL NOT look the other way when I see my children do something wrong! I mean really? How far off the bandwagon have we as a society fallen?


Children DO what they SEE. We can’t be shocked when they lie…if they see us lie or when they disrespect adults…if they see us disrespect authority.   

Remember, people often make bad decisions because the examples set before them weren’t good. Children cannot and should not raise themselves! We as leaders, whether parents, teachers or adults period; MUST BE an example AT ALL TIMES. Otherwise, “our” children will be left to fend for themselves…which we know cannot and should not be done. Don’t you think we’ve had enough of that already? Contrary to what society has taught us...children really do want boundaries and structure and they do respect those who enforce the rules. What happened to the day when Mrs. So and So down the street made sure she told our parents when she saw us misbehave, better yet, she scolded us herself and made it a point to let us know she was going to tell our parents!  Awwww, good ole’ Mrs. So and So…society sure does miss you!!
 
Is it just me, or am I the ONLY one who sees the kid sprawled on the floor in the grocery store, screaming their head off, as their parent unassumingly compare the price of Frosted Flakes to the generic brand? Or the parent who is constantly called into the principal’s office because of their child’s disruptive behavior…which they refuse to nip in the bud. Or, the parent in juvenile court who insist, “no, not my child”…even though this is his/her, not 1st, 2nd or 3rd, but 4th shoplifting charge…REALLY? No, we may not personally be able to do anything about those particular situations, but we can let them be lessons to us on what NOT to do! I am a firm believer that we are allowed to see certain things to teach us what NOT TO DO! We just need to be wise enough to get the revelation. Listen, I’m in no way saying I’m better than the next person, but we all have to admit…when we see “children” disrespect adults, the elderly getting “the beat down” and children left to fend for themselves;  there’s a serious problem. Where does it stop? With us, that’s where. We can’t sit back and complain if we’re not going to be a part of the solution. We can no longer put our heads in the sand and expect the "other" person to do it...we ALL must do our part. All of us (this includes myself), must do our part to insure we’re not enablers to other people’s bad behavior. The only way change ever happens, is if we actually change!  Titus 2:7-8, Proverbs 22:6, 23:25, 29:17
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2013 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam
Having a blast serving Him !

Xoxoxo

Michell




25 comments:

  1. I love this, and completely agree with it! Hope you have a wonderful week Michell!

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    1. Hey Ashley...thanks so much lady!! Hope you have a lovely week also my friend! XOXO

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  2. So true! If adults would handle more of their business with their children when they are children, we would have a better society. Nowadays, we just might endanger ourselves if we try to correct someone else's child. The parents won't say anything to them, and they don't want anyone else to either.

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    1. IKR Trinity! They look at you as if something is wrong with you, when they're the disruptive one. We as parents MUST establish rules when our children first start to comprehend. If we wait too late, we've already lost control. Thanks so much for dropping by, have a blessed week! :-))

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  3. I agree with ALL of this. I do my part and any parent that is uncomfortable with it knows better than to ask me to watch their child. I don't know why some of them allow me to correct their children and won't do it themselves. My little cousin hit the nail on the head when her Mother asked her why she is so good for us (us being my entire immediate family...we don't play)....she simply stated "you don't have rules, they do". It annoys the stew out of me to see disrespectful children. I can't tolerate it. Some people are quick to say, it will be different Joi when you have your own. I seriously doubt it. My parents raised me to be obedient and respectful to ALL my elders and now that I'm an adult those are expectations. Great post, I know my comment was strong in tone...this is a huge pet peeve of mine. Glad you dusted this one off!

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    1. Hahaha Joi! No need to apologize...I'm with you! Of course we can't expect the kids to behave if the parents have such a lackadaisical attitude about raising them(my heart goes out to the kids). You're right, they're always the ones who want someone else to babysit they're kids. I mean really...if you don't want to watch your own kids what makes you think someone else wants to...too funny! I can handle the "Dennis the Menace" kind of kid(most all kids have a little mischievousness in them), but what I will not tolerate is a disrespectful and rude child. This is why bullying has gone to an all time high, because we have not taught our children the basic fundamentals of how to behave. Boundaries give children security. Most parents don't like to discipline because they don't want to hurt their children's feelings...I won't even go there, I'll save that for another post! Lol! As you can see, this is one of my major "pet peeves" also Joi! :-) Thanks so much for stopping by and chiming in...have a wonderful week!!

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    1. Lol Denise! Thanks so much for dropping by...have. A blessed week! :-)

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  5. 50 years ago parents were asked "what do you want for your child when he or she grows up?"
    The answer was "successful, with good morals and integrity" 2 years ago when parents were asked the same question the answer was "I don't care what they do as long as they are happy."
    *sigh*

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    1. I agree Ren! "What makes them happy"...a scary thought isn't it? Nowadays, pretty much ANYTHING could make them happy!! A BIG *sigh* indeed Ren, a big sigh indeed and much intercession! :-)) Thanks so much for dropping by...have a wonderful week! :-)

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  6. Amen,Amen and AMEN!!! Great word and I agree!!!!!

    Blessings my friend!
    Stacey

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    1. Hey lady! Thanks so much and thanks for stopping by...have a lovely week my friend! XoXo

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  7. SO true!! I'm reminded of the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" and we just don't live by that anymore (and I think it shows)

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    1. No we don't Jonna and yes it does show! Thanks so much for stopping by, have a blessed week!;-)

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  8. I don't look the other way when my children or other children are misbehaving. Although there is no excuse for a parent allowing attitude, we must remember that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Many people have raised themselves and have no idea about raising a child. Some were severely punished for anything and everything and are determined not to treat their children this way. Hence, crazy and out-of-control kids. As a 22-year veteran from the public school system, I have seen parents on both sides of the spectrum and it is sad. There is no easy answer. If we offer parenting classes in school, we are at the mercy of a written curriculum, sometimes, by people who have no experience with children---and religion cannot be mentioned. If we insist they use the Bible as their guide, some folks will take discipline to the extreme and beat the living-daylights of their children. Prayer and common sense are the keys to parenting and it is sorely lacking in our society. Okay. Bye-Bye!

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    1. Yes Cynthia, I agree! It's either one extreme or the other...rarely is there a balance. Prayer AND common sense are definitely keys to parenting and when they're not used...it definitely shows! Thanks for stopping by...have a wonderful week!;-)

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  9. Couldn't agree with you more. Kids today are so different from the way I was raised that sometimes I don't know if what I think is right is still right. Can't help feeling a bit helpless many times...

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    1. I know exactly what you mean Anne! It does saddened me to see just how far away from the values we grew up with we've gotten. Don't worry, I'm sure what you think is right, is STILL right. Thanks for stopping by my friend, have an awesome week!

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  10. Thanks everyone for your comments! I realize this is a topic that we can all get passionate about, however, I ask that you please refrain from using language that is inappropriate and/or offensive, as this is a Christian blog. Please note that if your comment contains any inappropriate language, it will be deleted. As always, I thank each and every one of you for your comments...have a blessed day!

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  11. This is one of my huge pet peeves!! I keep promising that when I have children, God willing, I will never let them behave poorly... especially in public! I would be mortified! I myself am even embarrassed if I forget my etiquette, let alone a child representing me and everything I have worked towards... Of course, since I am not a mom yet - I have little knowledge. I just need to go back on what my parents have taught me. Manners Always!
    I hope you are having a beautiful week!

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    1. Hey Nichole!! I'm with you...unfortunately most people don't have anything to fall back on because they haven't been taught...it's a sad and dismal situation. May you have a beautiful week as well my friend! ;-)

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  12. This is so true. I see these kids on my commute on the way home and I am disgusted, I can't believe that they act the way they are acting. I kind of have to ignore it because you never know if those kids might have a mob mentality of sorts.I do try to teach my kids the best by leading by example, I pray they will not be influenced by other children.

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    1. I agree Nellie! You don't know what they're capable of doing. This behavior doesn't happen overnight, it is a process. If school administrators(because obviously the parents aren't) would nip it in the bud and set an example, letting them and their parents know it won't be tolerated then we could probably get somewhere. The older they get, the harder it'll be to nip it. Nowadays, the victims of these out of control kids get the same punishment(that's another story, lol). If all parents could instill in their children to be leaders, that would be a great start> Thanks for stopping by...have a blessed day!;-)

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  13. Boy, kids today are so different but like you say the rules has not changed. I am so afraid for my great-grandchildren (I do not have any yet). Even my own son, says that he does not want to raise his kids liked I raise him. I raised my children in a Christian home and certain things you did not do, at one point we did not even have a Tv and we spent so much more family time together. My grandkids are planted in front of the tv all the time. I do not try to do all my shopping before I pick them up b/c they are like the kid you were speaking about in the store. I am not the parent but I feel a responsibility to direct them toward what is conducive to them growing up to be a productive person in society. I can only do so much but I talk to them all the time, especially when they tell me it is ok with their mom. So, I have to try to explain things to them with out making the parent look bad. Boy, it is tough, but they love visiting me even though they know my boundaries are quit different.
    http://fitandbeyond40.com

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Thanks so much for dropping by...I really appreciate it! Please check back for a response to your comment, as I post all responses to comments here on the blog, not via email. Please note, as this is a Christian blog...any comment that contains offensive and/or inappropriate language will be sent to the authorities...NAH, but seriously though, they WILL BE deleted. :-) Have a great day...I call you blessed! ;-)