"Michell's Weekly Pearl"...(In Need of Some Advice)

an advice colum/question on bad behavior
Hi everyone! Thanks for joining me for another edition of  "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about my advice series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matter s, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via prowessandpearls@gmail.com (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE). 

Keep sending those questions in!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "In Need of Some Advice" asked...




I really need your help on how to handle this one Michelle. My friend and I have play dates with our little girls, however I think my friend’s daughter’s “bad” behavior is rubbing off on my daughter at times. At other times, she dreads going, because said daughter is always either misbehaving or having a temper tantrum. Should I keep subjecting my daughter to this for the sake of our friendship or should I risk losing my friendship by confronting her about her daughter’s behavior? Would love some advice on this Michelle.


Hi  “In Need of Some Advice”. Thanks so much for your question! First and foremost, let me put this out there. When it comes to our children and their well-being…all bets SHOULD be off!  I say this, because it’s so easy to get into that slippery slope of compromising to appease others. Once you let one thing slide, it leads to something else. I see it all the time (not that I’m saying you do this), I’m just making a point here. Take for instance a single mother who is willing to take on an abusive boyfriend, who may also abuse her children, just because she wants a man in her life. At some point along the way, she started compromising and never got a reign on it. Do you see my point? As stated, in no way am I saying you do this, I’m just making a point here, as other people read my post and I want to minister to them also. I’m a big believer in “preventive” work.  Now, back to your question.  I personally would NOT continue to subject my child to that. But, what you should do is first talk with your friend. YES, this will be hard, but believe me, after you’ve done it, you’ll feel much better.  Be prepared, because people are VERY SENSITIVE when it comes to their children…they really are! Just be honest with your friend. Let her know how her daughter’s behavior is affecting your daughter and that you think its best they don’t play together for a while until she deals with. Whether or not she deals with it, is left up to her. That’s a decision she’ll have to make. Who knows, maybe she’ll come around and ask you for parenting advice, lol! It may take her awhile to get over the initial shock of being confronted, but if she’s a true friend, she should definitely understand your point of view. But, what it has done is boost your daughter’s moral. Many children and adults suffer with low self-esteem, because they never saw the adult (authority) figure in their life, stand up for them when they saw something wrong happening. People don’t realize this is very huge! If they don’t see the adults in their life stand up for them, then they’re left to the assumption they’re not worth it (I could teach an hour on that subject)! You will also be teaching her now, how to choose her friends wisely, something I see lacking in society. As far as the behavior rubbing off on your daughter.  I would just use the same parenting technique that you always use when she does something wrong…she seems to be a pretty disciplined and well-rounded little girl, who obviously knows right from wrong. Besides, once you’ve eliminated the situation, the problem will more than likely handle itself. Will be praying for you and your friend, hope this help!



I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law.  My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well!  As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.  


*Disclaimer*: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share.  With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2013 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam


12 comments:

  1. I think the key statement here is that the writer's daughter has specifically said herself that she doesn't want to play. That is reason enough for concern. Even a time out may help to refocus.

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    1. Exactly Bekah! As parents, we must make sure we're being attentive to what are children are telling us! Thanks so much for stopping by...have a wonderful week! ;-)

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    1. Thanks so much Denise! Have a lovely week my sweet friend!

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  3. Now that's one sticky situation. Hope the two will be able to maintain their friendship.

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    1. I sure hope so too Wanda! Thanks for stopping by...have a wonderful week!! ;)

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  4. My comment before even reading your response Michell.. was STOP IT ASAP!!!!

    So while I was reading your response (very good insight as usual), it popped in my mind the family members that we really can't control our association with. I was thinking there could also be a lesson in this instance for being able to be in an environment with someone and not adapt their behavior. We don't have to make play dates but it's kinda hard to avoid family & all of my family is not cut from the same cloth :) I have some friends with children/step children that are total out cast around my God Daughter but I still invite them to activities (even when my God daughter ask me not to) and lay down VERY strict rules for engagement.

    I think assimilating children like this friend's child in with well behaved children will rub more off on the "bad" child than it will the good child.

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    1. That's great Joi!! So true, I believe that also! Putting a child who misbehaves around children who behave, causes the misbehaving child to conform. It works in every environment...school, camp, church, etc! It's a great lesson for your child also, in that it teaches them what NOT to do!!:-D Thanks for chiming in Joi! Have a wonderful week darlin'!! xoxo

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  5. I have had the same problem. Thank you so much for your amazing response to a difficult situation. Love you, friend!

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    1. Hey Ash! You're welcome...haven't we all! Lol!! Love you too my friend...have a lovely week!! :-)

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  6. Children can not fend for themselves. Therefore, parents must do so for them. No child should be allowed to negatively influence other children - especially when a situation such as this can be prevented. When it comes to our children, we , as believers, must use our God given authority to protect our children to the best of our abilities. When it comes to our children, certain things should not be tolerated!

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    1. I agree Trinity! WE will be accountable for how we steward over our children! It is so important that as parents, we protect our children's well-being. Thanks so much for stopping by...have a wonderful week!!

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Thanks so much for dropping by...I really appreciate it! Please check back for a response to your comment, as I post all responses to comments here on the blog, not via email. Please note, as this is a Christian blog...any comment that contains offensive and/or inappropriate language will be sent to the authorities...NAH, but seriously though, they WILL BE deleted. :-) Have a great day...I call you blessed! ;-)