"Michell's Weekly Pearl"...(Should I Tell Him How I Really Feel)

As always, I thank you for joining me for another edition of  "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek to use Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about my advice series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via prowessandpearls@gmail.com (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! I'll also delete your email once I've transferred your question. To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE).

 

 
Keep sending in those questions!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "Should I Tell Him How I Really Feel" asked...

My current boyfriend is so good to me. He showers me with gifts and gives me whatever I ask for. “Everyone”(this includes family and friends) thinks that I’m using him for all the “perks” that I’m getting. I don’t think this is true, but I’ll admit, they don’t hurt at all. They claim they can tell I don’t really love him. I’ll admit, I’m not “in love” with him, but I do ‘like” him if that makes sense. I mean, I don’t see myself taking this relationship any further(I’m really infatuated with the gifts). He’s really more of a “friend” than a “boyfriend”. My question is this. Do you think I should tell him how I really feel about him or should I just let the “friendship” continue like it is and let it eventually break it off?

Hi “Should I Tell Him How I Really Feel”.  Thanks for your question!  I’m going to try to answer as best as I can. You’ve heard of the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” right? I’ve got a feeling that “hell hath no fury like a man who’s been used”. To be quite frank, friends don’t use friends. You didn’t tell me how old you were or how old your "friend” was. But I can guarantee you, he’s old enough to know that when he finds out you’re not being upfront with him, he.won’t.be.happy. Unfortunately, I’m not sure what his response will be, but I do suggest you be upfront with him ASAP! Don’t let it linger any longer. You need to let him know that you have no intentions of ever having a “relationship” with him. That’s only fair to him, for there may be that “perfect person” out there for him, but of course he can’t see that because he’s blinded by the “make believe” relationship he has with you. No one wants to ever feel as if they’ve been strung along. And I’m not putting all the blame on you, because he should know better, BUT if he did those things under the auspice of being lead on by you, then I am. I’m not usually this blunt with my answers, but I cannot stress enough to women to STOP playing with people’s emotions. Why? Because you don’t know what someone’s “breaking point” is and you don’t ever want to find yourself playing with fire! You might have been able to get away with behavior like this, let's say 5-10 years ago(which by the way, DOESN'T make it right) scotch free, but nowadays people are different! Their level of tolerance is not very high! So, when you get out of this situation, I suggest you DON’T ever get back in one like it again! Some people may disagree, but as much as you may not like this…to ease the fallout, I think you should give him back some or all of his gifts. In situations like this, you don’t ever want to have any strings attached. But most importantly, when that special person finds you; you don’t ever want to be THAT person who’s being taken advantage of. It's not a good feeling at all! The Bible clearly tells us that we will reap what we sow(and I BELIEVE that), so please keep that in mind with everything you do! I also believe that if you go to God and your friend, repent and ask for forgiveness…God will grace the situation for you! Hope that helps! Praying you'll have the courage to do the right thing! Galatians 6:7, 1 John 1:9, Luke 6:31

*Okay readers...have you ever found yourself in a situation like this(on either side)?

I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law.  My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well!  As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.  

*Disclaimer*: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share.  With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.

All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2013 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” by Michell Pulliam

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