Great Monday morning everyone! Hope you had a wonderful weekend! I've decided for the month of December, "Mastering YOU Monday" will be comprised of some of my archived posts. This week's post is for all you ladies out there who are married, engaged, dating, or in the future...may want to be any of the aforementioned! January 7, 2014, my husband and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. During these past 25 years I have learned many things about the opposite sex. Some from my husband, some from experience and some from watching other relationships. Continue reading to find out one of my biggest relationship pet-peeves..
Contrary to what you may have been told, a man’s ego is a very fragile thing. I know, I know, they are considered the stronger vessel in the relationship, but never forget (just as women) they have feelings too! Every time we tell him how he didn’t do something right(and that we can do it better), look at him with disdain if he says or does something WE deem to be stupid, or scold him as if he’s some child…we chip away at his ego bit by bit, until we look up one day and realize all we have left is a shell of a man...and wonder what happened, really now?
Some of us have done it for so long, we don’t even recognize we’re doing it, but everyone else around us sees it; which puts them in an awkward position. Whenever I see this, I cringe with disgust. He walks away dejected with his head down, wondering if anyone saw what just occurred, while she carries on as if she’s done the female “society” some great big favor by putting her man in his place! Hmmm...no ma'am, I think not! I don’t care how you dress it up ladies, just as WE are; men are going to love what is lovely to them! If you were in a relationship with someone who was treating you badly and using you as a doormat, you wouldn't stay around much too long. So why do we expect the men in our lives to put up with something we wouldn't tolerate? Sounds crazy right? That's because it is! I call it the "arrogosis" syndrome...an attitude that swings the pendulum between arrogance and psychosis. Listen, I'm not coming down on you ladies, but I've seen too many relationships go downhill(when they didn't have to), because we didn't hold up our end of the relationship. As I often tell people, the only part of a relationship we're responsible for is "our" part. Remember, this series is all about us mastering "ourselves", not anyone else. A healthy relationship should consist of two people who honor and respect each other. Anything outside of that isn't a relationship at all.
You do the math. If a man is not shown the honor that goes with his position, then he WILL NOT lead correctly! There's nothing worse than a misguided unit. If the head of any corporation isn't confident in his leadership position because the people on his team aren't supportive and offering encouragement...I can guarantee you that'll be a corporation that will soon fall apart. Because of her disobedience, God told Eve in Genesis 3:16(part B), “Your desire shall be for your husband”. Many people misinterpret that as "we will long for our husbands". No, it actually means we will want to covet our husband's position. So it translates...“Your desire shall be to rule(dominate) your husband”. These aren’t Michell’s words; these are God’s words! To want our husband’s role of leadership is so NOT the will of God ladies! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if it’s not the will of God, then obviously it’s something we SHOULDN’T be doing. It’s not whether I can do a better job than my husband, it’s about walking in the ROLE God gave ME! Remember ladies...as much as it may ruffle your turkey feathers; God doesn't give a flying kite about whether you can do your husband's job better than he can. It's better that your husband’s job be done IMPERFECTLY by him, than be done PERFECTLY by you! So stop micromanaging the men in your lives and let God do His perfect work with him, just as He's doing with you! Ask God today to free you from the curse of Eve in EVERY area of your life and seek Godly wisdom concerning your relationship! God’s girls know how to stay in their lane…vroom vroom!
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2013 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and
Pearls” by Michell Pulliam
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You nailed this subject!!! Loved these words about how we need to treat our men!!
ReplyDeleteHey Ash...thank you hon! Yep...we've got to treat them right, don't we?! :-D
DeleteI love this! Perfectly said.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debbie and thanks for stopping by! Blessings! ;-)
DeleteIt does put the people who are watching in an awkward position. I've seen a family member's wife scold him and ridicule him in front of others. It did nothing more than make me look askance upon their relationship and why he was allowing her to degrade him in front of other people. I honestly think that at a point, these women don't even realize that's what they're doing because they are too close to the situation or it's spillover from a recent fight. This is great advice, some will heed it and some will be shortly citing irreconcilable differences on a divorce application.
ReplyDeleteYour last statement is so true Jaha..."some will heed it and some will be shortly citing irreconcilable differences on a divorce application". Sad, but true. Some people would rather give up, than do right. Thanks for stopping by! :-)
DeleteMoment of truth, I have been guilty of this in the past. I am very strong minded and find it difficult to have some one else in control. I have also made my husband feel as though he was not doing right by our family over petty things. I am working on getting better though.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your transparency Amanda! Don't feel bad, we all have "gone there" at some point in our relationship. The good thing is when we recognize it and work on it! :-) Thanks so much for stopping by...have a wonderful week!
DeleteWow! This was an encouraging, very on time post! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Ashley for your kind words and thanks for stopping by! Have a blessed week! ;-)
DeleteI commend your courage. These are words we need to hear from another woman and too often they're unspoken, too uncool, old-fashioned, and such. And yet they're truth.
ReplyDeleteLove this post! I needed to hear this today!
ReplyDeleteLove it Michell, thank you for your experience and encouragement. Tara.
ReplyDeleteFirst, congrats on almost 25 years. These are deff some words to live by. I especially love the last bit about staying in your lane
ReplyDeletePreach!! That's all I can say. There is a time and a place for everything, and discussing differences needs to happen behind closed doors. XOXO
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! I love this post.. You said it perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this and going yeah I'm good, I haven't done that in forever then BAM last couple of lines I'm like "oops my bad." LOL! There's a business side of our relationship which is a major part. I am so sarcastic sometimes I get on my own nerves. I gotta do better.
ReplyDeleteHi Michell! Interesting interpretation of Eve wanting to dominate her husband. I always thought it meant that she would prefer her husband over The Lord, mirroring her choice with the apple. Hmmm.... I like this new perspective. It's so great to learn new ideas about Scripture, and you have given me one today.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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You are always dishing out wise advice Michell! Thanks for this. This is a hard task to stay on top of because they can be so stupid sometimes, lol. I always here the old ladies in the back of my mind saying "let a man be a man" and I try to keep quiet unless it's absolutely necessary :) Thanks Michell!
ReplyDeleteI consider it my job and my responsibility in my marriage to empower my husband and lift him to great heights. I am reminded of that story about some very successful CEO that got married and the wife slowly belittled him to the point in time when he lost everything... ended up a janitor. I don't know if the story was real- but the principle and the lesson is very real....
ReplyDeleteOur men need us- and they need our respect and our praise and encouragement. I know mine does. And I owe that to him. That is what I promised... to God and to him in our sacred covenant.
This is awesome Michell. I love your words of wisdom, my friend!