"Michell's Weekly Pearl"...(Not So Sure Anymore)



an advice column/ question about being ashamed
Hi everyone! Thanks for joining me for another edition of  "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek to use Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about my series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via prowessandpearls@gmail.com (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! I'll also delete your email once I've transferred your question.To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE). 

 
Keep sending those questions in!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "Not So Sure Anymore" asked...






Hello Michell. I’ve been reading your column for awhile now and wanted to say how much I love it, so I hope you can help me with my situation. I’m a professional woman (who’s been engaged two years) to a man who loves and respects me very much and I do him. He’s very hardworking and provides for me, even though I can manage well on my own. My family knows this and thinks he’s a nice gentleman, BUT, yes, the BIG BUT! They don’t approve of his job (he’s a garbage man).  Michell, this has caused a rift between my family and me and quite frankly, now I’m beginning to second guess my relationship. I value your opinion and I could really use your advice on this one.

"Hi “Not so sure anymore”!  I sure hope I can help you with this one! The first thing that caught my attention was the fact you said you BOTH love and respect one another. That is the first sign of a relationship that has been built on a great foundation. I see many women get into relationships with men who show neither one of these attributes and wonder why things aren’t working out…go figure. However in your case, you two seem to genuinely love each other. The problem, as with most people, is that you have allowed other people to enter into the equation. Don’t get me wrong, your family and friends(for that matter)love you and as with anyone who loves you, they only want the BEST for you. But, unfortunately, most families get the line between caring and becoming overbearing BLURRED! Most times they mean no harm. A good family WILL protect if they see a red flag, but you’ve mentioned they think he’s a nice gentleman. Which leaves me to assume…they just don’t think he’s the gentleman for YOU! That’s where the line gets blurred…that’s not their decision to make. I think the sad part about the whole situation is that they’ve gotten you to second guess and that’s just too bad, because it sounds as if you two really adore each other.  To be quite honest, in fairness to him, before you go any further, you need to assess whether you are knowingly or unknowingly harboring embarrassment in your heart and have a problem with him being a garbage man yourself. I’m not saying that’s the case at all, but sometimes when we start taking what others say into consideration, it can mean that we, in a small way, believe the same thing. I only think it’s fair to the both of you, as I don’t want you to always have in the back of your mind that you’re married to a garbage man and you really can’t deal with that or with anyone knowing it, and I don’t want him to always feel as if he’s an embarrassment to you. He deserves to have someone love him for who he is, not for the job title by his name. That’s certainly not a way to start a marriage. You both need to sit down and have a SERIOUS heart to heart. You need to be honest with him and let him know how you feel. I’m a believer that “true” love can conquer almost anything.  It sounds like you really love this guy and I would hate for you to miss out on a chance for a wonderful relationship because of his employment. Remember, a person can always change careers, but it’s not so easy finding someone who has great character. Hope this helps…will be praying for you! I would love to get an update from you! Have a great weekend!"



I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law.  My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well!  As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.  


*Disclaimer*: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share.  With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2013 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam


25 comments:

  1. AAAAMMMEEENNN to that last line! You can upgrade him, if that's YOUR problem (not for your friends and family. Girl, do you know what kind of GARBAGE is out here in these streets (pun inteneded :) You sound like you have a good man...interjects Rx Fitness Lady on the Michell column...Michell, who asked me right, lol! Loved your response. All the best writer of the letter!

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    1. Hahaha girl...you.are.hilarious, ikr!! Love your interjections, btw! ;) Yes, the best to her and her fiance! As always, thanks for chiming in...take care Joi!

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  2. "Remember, a person can always change careers, but it’s not so easy finding someone who has great character."

    That is a very POWERFUL statement! Have a blessed weekend!

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    1. Hey Trinity, thanks!! Yes, character is something to cherish. When we come across someone who has great character...we should definitely hold on(they are few and far between). Have a blessed week!

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  3. I'd take a garbage man over a millionaire who lacks love and respect, ANY day of the week. I'm married, and I've learned it doesn't matter WHAT my husband does (you know what I mean...within reason of course), as long as he respects and loves me and we can pay our bills. I THANK THE LORD for "garbage men" and janitors and people who do all the other thankless jobs that take care of us. Just a garbage man? No. An upstanding citizen who happens to collect waste for a living. Stigmas regarding jobs like this are quite unfortunate. GREAT advice, Michell.

    XOXO,
    Meredith

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    1. Hey Meredith! I know, it's sad isn't it? We as a society have become so surfaced and our priorities are misplaced. I know women who can have anything they could ever dream of, but unfortunately their marriages are cold and loveless. I'll take my happiness and peace of mind over money any day! Thanks for joining in Meredith! xoxoxo

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  4. I know two teachers who have husbands that worked with the city and life has been very good to them. One couple has been married for about 35 years and the other about 50 years. God bless any woman these days who has had a good man ask her to marry him, because most will not take the time to ask! If you are a Christian, you understand that you can explain to your family that the word of God refers to a man finding a wife as a good thing. You were never to find a man and he has followed the law by asking you to marry him. Remind them that you both are trusting His Holy Spirit to guide you and your request is that they would pray for you both as God leads you. You both are bringing something beautiful to the table!

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    1. Amen, the one thing they must do is get everyone else out of their ear! So many couples make that mistake and it ends up ruining everything. Thanks so much for stopping by...have a wonderful day!

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  5. After 17 years of ministry, giving Godly council and sound advice must come 2nd nature to you. I absolutely love your response Michell and I agree with every word.

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    1. Awww...thank you so much! I give all the glory to God and His sweet Holy Spirit! Thanks so much for the encouragement Hope! Have a wonderful week my friend!

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  6. Michell you are so right! If the writer has someone who is as wonderful as this man sounds she better marry him now.

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    1. Lol Betty! Agreed...right NOW! Thanks for stopping by...have a good one!!

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  7. Ugh- what a toughie. I loved your advice Michell! Spot ON. If they respect and love each other, and her man is okay with his career and she is too, there is NO issue. And as you so wisely said, unless she may be carrying a bit of unresolve about it.
    Oh how I pray her family doesn't come in between them!

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    1. Yes Chris! Sometimes our families can be very influential(in the wrong way), which can be detrimental. Praying she makes the right decision. Thanks so much for chiming in my friend...have a good one!

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  8. Great advice!!

    Friend, love your good man and thank God for him. They are a rare find now-a-days!

    Praying for you.

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    1. Exactly Lisi! They definitely are a rarity these days! :-) Have a good one!

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  9. Great advice Michell, honestly I think she should be happy she a) found someone she loves and b) he has a well paying job with most likely a pension-- a win win situation. I understand family influence but there is a time when you have to break away and create a life of your own!

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    1. Exactly Nellie...win, win and creating your OWN life! Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  10. I couldn't wait to see how you answered this, very hard question. If you have love, you have everything!

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    1. Hey Ashley! Most definitely...love conquers all! :-)

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  11. Love your advice Michelle! I am always inspired to read this section :) I also nominated you for Versatile Blogger Award and I would love if you accept it :) You can get all the details in this post :) http://momlessmom.com/2013/08/i-am-versatile-officially.html

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    1. Aww, THANK YOU so much...I'm honored!! Thanks so much for the nomination and thanks for stopping by! :-)

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  12. I considered this web site to consent to all in sequence on any observation camera definitely, there along with most of carecterstiques. which revenue that have always been rather satisfied to get this web site Legal and General.

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Thanks so much for dropping by...I really appreciate it! Please check back for a response to your comment, as I post all responses to comments here on the blog, not via email. Please note, as this is a Christian blog...any comment that contains offensive and/or inappropriate language will be sent to the authorities...NAH, but seriously though, they WILL BE deleted. :-) Have a great day...I call you blessed! ;-)