"Michell's Weekly Pearl"...(Uncertain)

Hi everyone! Welcome to another edition of  "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about my advice series. This is where you can ask me anything(within reason) on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via prowessandpearls@gmail.com (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. 

Praying that you all have a happy and safe Memorial Day!

Here's what "Uncertain" asked...

 

Hey girl,

My question is, what do you think is the breaking point in marriage. If a man or a women is cheating, do you feel its appropriate to work it out, or get divorced.

Thanks

Dear Uncertain,

First and foremost, I’d like to ask if you have a pastor or spiritual advisor you can speak with? Your question is a very complex one, as there are many factors that play into your final decision, i.e.(if there is physical abuse involved[which should never be tolerated], proof of infidelity, a one-time incident or consistent cheating, what you’re willing to allow), etc. More likely than not when a person cheats in relationships, there is usually a cause, i.e(lack of communication, immaturity, a person is feeling unloved and misused, the couple has grown apart, lack of intimacy), etc....which all, by the way can be resolved. Very rarely does a person cheat in a marriage because he is a womanizer, if this is true, more than likely there were signs that were ignored waaay before the marriage took place. Women have this crazy notion that once a person gets married, they will change…so not true(unless Jesus gets involved)! It really does matter who you marry! Whatever the reason may be, the couple(if both parties agree) should sit down with their pastor, spiritual advisor or counselor and deal with the root cause, AFTER all parties have cooled down. Many couples have made a rash decision out of anger, confusion and hurt. Marriage is an institution ordained by God and should be taken serious and not something to be jumped into lightly(not saying that you have done this). I’m speaking of marriage in general. Because, marriage is ordained by God, the enemy(devil) will do all he can to destroy it. This is why it’s a MUST that you make Jesus the center of your marriage! To be honest, that’s the only way it will sustain the attacks. The Bible tells us that we are to count up the cost when we take something on. In other words, will you be able to endure, how hard are you willing to work for it, will you be able to complete it? Many people get duped into thinking there are perfect marriages. Any marriage that has lasted and sustained over the years, believe you me…they have worked hard at it and in most cases, they’ve had to endure to see the wonderful finished product! One thing I do know, is that marriage takes hard work and both parties must be self(less) in order for it to work according to God's plan. If you and your spouse want to save your marriage, the first thing that must be done is to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Mark 11:25. Nothing will be resolved if this first step doesn’t take place. Even if you and your spouse go your separate ways, in order for you both to live a peaceable life, forgiveness MUST take place, as forgiveness is needed in order for hearts to be  healed. I am a firm believer that ANYTHING is possible with Christ! I must also add that you can only go as far as the other person wants to, unfortunately we can’t make anyone do anything they aren’t willing to do. It must be a collective effort on both parties involved. But hey, God CAN change hearts! Again, I don’t know the background of your marriage and all the factors that go into why it has come to this stage, so I’m unable to give you advice beyond this point. Therefore, I recommend you speak with your pastor, spiritual advisor or counselor. However, if you’re unable to, my husband and I would be available to answer any further questions you may have, as we would hate for you to be left confused or unsure as to how to deal with your marital situation. I hope in some way this helps! Mark 11:25, Matthew 18:35, Matthew 19:3-9, 1 Corinthians 7:1-end

I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law.  My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well!  As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.  

 Disclaimer: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share.  With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.

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Having a blast serving Him !

Xoxoxo

Michell