"Michell's Weekly Pearl"...(She Said What)

Hi everyone! Thanks for joining me for another edition of  "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek to use Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about my advice series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via prowessandpearls@gmail.com (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! I'll also delete your email once I've transferred your question. To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE).

Keep sending those questions in!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "She Said What?!" asked...

I’ve got a hairdresser who’s done my hair for years and I love her. I’ve been going to her because my mother and sister and whole family goes there. We go to the same church and sing on the choir together. Also, her husband is an elder at the church. I remember a post you wrote where you talked about people getting emotionally connected to the wrong people without watching their fruit first, well I didn’t watch her fruit and here I am today.  She speaks so badly about her husband and she feeds off of women who have marital issues. I would never pay it any attention. But once I got engaged she would say things like marriage is like living in hell and the first ten years are going to be rough and blah, blah, blah. I still wouldn’t pay it any attention, I’d just look at her as my wonderful hairdresser, so I thought. But, since I got married, God has really opened my eyes to who is for me and who is against me. I’m very sensitive and I know I need to work on that, but I’m growing up. Well, the other day, someone asked me if me and my husband were celebrating our one year anniversary soon, and I said yes and we’re very excited! Well, you know who said, in a sarcastic way, “who would have thought”, as if she was surprised we were still happy. I was like, huh? Then she proceeded to say stuff like, you better enjoy it now, because it won’t last long. You will go through and things will change, you won’t enjoy your marriage anymore and the honeymoon won’t last forever. For once in my life I had to speak up. And of course she had a response. It broke my heart. Every since I got married, I’ve been attacked and it really hurts, because I know marriage can be a beautiful thing. I get ridiculed for being happily married and I feel uncomfortable being happy and expressing my love for my husband around women like that. My question is this. How did you and your husband handle backlash, if any? Also, what advice would you give to newlyweds who are learning there are people who are not for them?  I’m having a hard time dealing with this. I’m really sensitive and I know I need to be delivered from people. My husband on the other hand let’s this stuff roll off his back.  I know this is spiritual warfare and I know I need to learn how to let these things go and I was led to ask you.

"Hi “She said what?!....”. Thank you so much for your question!  First of all, it’s very sad that the wife of an elder in your church(who is suppose to be an example to you), would have such awful things to say about the institution of marriage. It’s a wonder how many young couples today are making it, if their advice is coming from such poor examples. The Bible tells us in Titus 2:3-5 …”the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given much to wine, teachers of good things- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”  Those are not my words, they are God’s words. If someone is not doing that, then that's your clue...you should not take advice from them, regardless of who they are. It’s sad to say that far too many older women these days are not living up to these verses and it’s a shame, because our young ladies are not being taught. I’m not sure what has made your friend so miserable, perhaps her husband doesn’t treat her right or she could just be a surly woman. But one thing I’ve come to realize is that many people( sadly, to say, those in the Body of Christ), have become bitter. And one thing bitter people do is spew their bitterness all over the place, like vomit, with no regard as to where or who it lands on. They make it a point that everyone around them is as miserable as they are. Unfortunately there are people in this world who hate to see other people happy. Whatever you do, never let anyone make you feel bad about being blessed. The Bible's definition of blessed...is to be envied, so get used to it my friend! ;-) Everyone who's blessed goes through it every now and then. My suggestion to you, is that you find another hairdresser. You’ve shared your heart with her and she’s let you know in no uncertain terms,  that she doesn’t care if what she says offends you.  It’s not worth it to stay around people who will spew their poison onto you. I don’t care who they are…family, friends, etc. It will start to wear on you if you’re not careful. I know they say hairdressers are like doctors, they are few and far between.:-) But I believe God will lead you to someone who not only has a sweet spirit, but who will give you the “hook up”! Lol! But seriously, don’t ever let ANYONE steal your joy! The joy that we have comes from God above.  A lesson my husband and I learned a long time ago is that we must be a united front against the enemy AND we must be delivered from people…delivered from what THEY think, from their views about us and from how they think we should live.  If you say you love her, like I’m sure you do…please pray for her. Pray that God heals her hurting heart and that he opens her eyes to see the damage she’s doing. Thanks so much for your question…hope this helps! Praying for the both of you."

Readers...have any of you ever experienced this? If so, what did you do?

I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law.  My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well!  As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.  

*Disclaimer*: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share.  With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.

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